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I just want to thank everyone who replied to my post. Your suggestions have given me a lot to think about as well as given me ideas on action items. Hyacinthe really hit the nail with the comment about not considering myself a sexual being - I don't feel sexy, am not sure what makes me feel sexy and don't think of myself as a sexual person; it all somehow in my mind registers as being "bad". I know that this is not true and not healthy thought processes. I've done a lot of journal-ing (if that's a word) since I initally posted and everyone's comments have given me something new to work out. Thank you all.
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