Sounds like you're approaching the situation with a mature outlook. If your husband knows that you are seeking counseling and actively working on your sex life, you are likely at no risk of losing him. Especially since this has been the pattern since you started your married life - perhaps he is aware this will take time and effort to overcome.
Here's a mental trick: you could relabel intercourse as something you immediately associate with non-intimidating enjoyment. Something along the lines of "ice cream break," "cuddling session," "cookie time," or "cute, fuzzy kitty-watching."
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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