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Old 01-06-2009, 10:58 AM   #46 (permalink)
Iliftrocks
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Location: Near Raleigh, NC
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlatLand Flyer View Post
This all sounds similar to my situation with my wife although we never had sex everyday at any point in our relationship.

I never thought that I was getting enough sex. I would do all the nice things like she asked and maybe or maybe not we had sex.

Then she asked me why I thought everything I did should lead to sex. I told her it didn't and that if she liked I would stop "pressuring her to have sex". Once the "pressure" by me stopped, the sex stopped. I got to the point in our mid 20's that we had sex exactly every other Saturday night. It would mostly be initiated by her since she wanted me to stop trying to get laid so much. This irritated the hell out of me.

Eventually this dwindled to once per month. Once she really took notice about how badly this bothered me and I was really considering leaving the marriage, she tried to give me the sex I always wanted. Only problem with that is that I had become so bitter over it that it wasn't fun. It was also obvious to me that her utter lack of sex drive over 10 years meant that while she was trying to please me, she didn't want or desire to do it. Over the course of about 10 years of living together (3 married) we are now separating.

To the OP, I say stick with it for now if you love her. Getting sex 2-3 times a week after seven years together is pretty damn good. However, if you are not happy, get the fuck out before you waste all of you 20's like I did.

Almost my experience exactly. My quite healthy sex drive was killed during my marriage. I quit pressuring her for sex, and gave her massages, made her dinner, etc. etc. She just took my lack of insistence as a get out of sex free card, and just quit. I became self-sufficient, heh ( and ouch ). Getting sex out of a sense of duty isn't much better, if it is, than masturbation......

But damn man, 2 or 3 times a week is GOOD!!!! Try 2 or 3 times a year


EDIT: Before I sound like a complete douche.... I stuck it out for years, and finally we're divorced. I have reason to believe that her lack of drive was that I was the wrong gender for her. I learned this from evidence on my computer that she left behind. Wish she felt confident enough in me to tell me, but I guess it takes time..... I still love her, and don't blame her for what she has no control over, but the damage ( mostly self esteem ) seems to be done to me. More time for hobbies I guess..... My experience is not universal
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Last edited by Iliftrocks; 01-06-2009 at 11:07 AM..
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