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Originally Posted by Anormalguy
Ratbastid, your situation eventually lead to you having threeways with your wife and with your wife's girlfriend, right? I strongly suspect that your advice would be much different if your patience had lead to you having sex 2-3 times a week, or perhaps twice a month, with only your wife.
cajeff, I agree with the comments that you shouldn't expect sex everytime you get an erection. However, I see a red flag if your girlfriend is only 23 and is already satisfied with sex 2-3 times a week. It's possible that the situation might improve, but that's not something that I would bet on.
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I want to point out here that there are many other factors affecting sex drive other than age. Just because she is satisfied with 2-3 times a week right now doesn't mean that it will continue to decline. If she's stressed with work and school that will have a big effect on her libido, not to mention Cajeff's complaints about not being satisfied. Rather than speculating about what her libido will be like in the future, maybe he should be doing what he can to keep from pressuring her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
On related subject, the three of us are having what we're calling a "wedding" in March. Other poly people call such a thing a "commitment ceremony", which sounds a little like they'll put you in a straight jacket at the end of it. So morally, spiritually, the three of us are creating being married, even if it carries no legal status. We're also setting up things like powers of attorney and mutual beneficiary status on insurance and stuff--getting as much legal weight to our relationship as society will stand for.
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That sounds great Ratbastid, congratulations.
Personally, I'd say Ratbastid's opinion should carry more weight, after all he has not one but two women in his life.
As for the OP: Grow up. You're not a teenage boy anymore and she's not a teenage girl, things change. You have to be flexible and understanding or you will not get anywhere in an adult relationship. You may be trying to be romantic for a couple days when she brings it up but that doesn't help, it's a constant thing and it cannot be attached to your gratification or it won't make her feel any better. Take everyone's advice, we have a lot of wise members here.