Originally Posted by ratbastid

Okay, bubba, you sound almost as stubborn and stupid as I was seven years into my (now 17-year-old) relationship, when I was in much the same fix you're in, so I'm going to put it as straight and brutal as I wish somebody had to me.

Here's the deal: living with you is like being in a sexual pressure cooker. You have no idea. She constantly has the experience of failing to live up to your expectations and disappointing you, and YOUR answer to that is to make her feel even worse. And yet she's trying to have things work out. Woman's a saint. You don't deserve her.

"But!", you cry, "I'm doing all the smoochy nice romantic stuff! Without any expectation that I'll get anything for it! So I must really deserve to get laid for that, right? And when I don't it's a great big problem for me!" Uh hunh. If you stop and LISTEN TO YOURSELF, you might notice that MAAAAAAYBE the whole thing is just a strategy to get you what you want, and a set-up to have her be the bad guy when you don't. And then you wonder why she feels constantly pressured by you.

The "middle" you want to meet in isn't THE middle. It's YOUR middle. Your answer to this is to have her put out more. And all you've got is more and more desperate strategy to try and force that to happen.

Don't give me that "hard dick no choice" bullshit, either. I have one too, and I'm not buying it.

17 years into my relationship (13 married), my sexual needs are met so thoroughly it's ridiculous. And in ways I'd NEVER have anticipated when I was where you are. And what that took was me GROWING UP. Stop being a five year old with a hard-on, and start being a grown man. That's my advice. The minute I did that, suddenly I got what I wanted--including everything I didn't even have the balls at the time to say that I wanted.