Dead_man, your relationship is so much like mine that it's creepy (except we're 8 years younger and I do most of the cleaning as well
)
Does your wife see sex as very goal-oriented, as in the point of it is for both of you to orgasm and then stop? If she (or you, for that matter) just see sex as a get-from-point-A-to-point-B exercise, it could hurt the quality of the action you're getting.
I'm trying my damndest to get my lady to slow things down, to take more pleasure in the process than the result. It's not really working as well as I had hoped, though - she feels guilty about enjoying herself sexually and self-esteem problems stop us from really letting go and just being in the moment of the whole thing.
I guess the long and short of this is that I'll be watching this thread to see if I can learn anything from what gets said to apply to my own situation...
Best of luck, brother.