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Dead_man · 12-22-2008, 12:14 PM

Hi!

I'm new to this board but after reading around a bit, I feel comfortable enough to ask a question about sex and marriage. It's kind of long and involved, but I want to be completely fair about it rather than have 3 pages of people asking me background questions.

Problem: Wife has sex with me once a month at most.

Statistics:

Married for 7 years now.
No real problems in the relationship. (we rarely argue and have no money issues)
No Kids
Age - Wife 34, Me 35
No sexual abuse history in either of us

Issues that might hurt:

We've both put on a few pounds (still fit though, it's not bad.)
I spend a lot of time on the computer due to school and work
Her family is very reserved and she grew up in a very strict household. The family is loose, but come together when necessary.
My family consists of a few good ones coupled with addicts and deadbeats. I don't communicate much with them.
Bringing up the topic of sex is a big no-no for her. She will not talk about it.
She reaches orgasm extremely fast. If i'm not done by then, I either go without or I get a half-assed attempt at an orgasm which means 85% of the time, I end up handling the situation myself.

Relationship otherwise:

She does most of the cleaning.
I do pretty much all of the cooking and grocery getting.
She works 9 hours a day.
I work 9 hours a day and go to school 3 nights a week.

While i'm being honest, I have to say that as a guy, I don't expect to have to be romantic EVERY FREAKING TIME we make love. What I mean by that is that I don't expect to have to light candles every time or have a bath ready or soft music playing. I've tried it and it doesn't work.

I love my wife, I really do, but i'm becoming pretty bitter. Since I can't talk to her about it and I can't go to couples therapy solo, i'm pretty lost.

12-22-2008, 12:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dead_man Upright	Help with sex life. Hi! I'm new to this board but after reading around a bit, I feel comfortable enough to ask a question about sex and marriage. It's kind of long and involved, but I want to be completely fair about it rather than have 3 pages of people asking me background questions. Problem: Wife has sex with me once a month at most. Statistics: Married for 7 years now. No real problems in the relationship. (we rarely argue and have no money issues) No Kids Age - Wife 34, Me 35 No sexual abuse history in either of us Issues that might hurt: We've both put on a few pounds (still fit though, it's not bad.) I spend a lot of time on the computer due to school and work Her family is very reserved and she grew up in a very strict household. The family is loose, but come together when necessary. My family consists of a few good ones coupled with addicts and deadbeats. I don't communicate much with them. Bringing up the topic of sex is a big no-no for her. She will not talk about it. She reaches orgasm extremely fast. If i'm not done by then, I either go without or I get a half-assed attempt at an orgasm which means 85% of the time, I end up handling the situation myself. Relationship otherwise: She does most of the cleaning. I do pretty much all of the cooking and grocery getting. She works 9 hours a day. I work 9 hours a day and go to school 3 nights a week. While i'm being honest, I have to say that as a guy, I don't expect to have to be romantic EVERY FREAKING TIME we make love. What I mean by that is that I don't expect to have to light candles every time or have a bath ready or soft music playing. I've tried it and it doesn't work. I love my wife, I really do, but i'm becoming pretty bitter. Since I can't talk to her about it and I can't go to couples therapy solo, i'm pretty lost.