Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Advice concerning a long distance, never have met girl?

The Magic · 12-20-2008, 10:51 AM

Don't go to the club. Not because of the girl. But because you will probably regret it later.

Your self-image is pretty fragile at this point. You're living out this "24-year-old-who-has-never-had-a-girlfriend" persona; going to a strip club to have your first contact with women will only further instill in yourself that you don't have a chance with women (but you do!)

If you like this girl, you should try to meet her. Surprise her and go meet her. Don't take chances on waiting around. If it turns out not to be what it seems, then you'll know sooner rather than later. It's not a waste of money. If you don't have the money/resources, try saving as much as you can. Find the cheapest/most possible route you could take.

Also try to take more pride in yourself. In your post you tend to talk about yourself in a negative fashion and also comment that people see these same flaws in you. In attracting people/dating, other people usually see flaws because that same person believes those things are flaws. Put a positive spin on the things you don't like about yourself and think about yourself more confidently. Women will begin to notice it. How you think about yourself tends to infect other people; create a persona for yourself that you are comfortable with but shows confidence and you will be able to communicate those values to other people.

I didn't have my first girlfriend until after I was 20 (I am 22 now), so I understand a little where you are coming from. Also, I would be careful of casting a lot of hope into your first relationship. Mine is ending soon, and when I reflect back now I really think it would've been impossible to keep going no matter who I was with. It's forced me to change quite a bit. It's been a learning experience, kind of like a stepping stone so that I am now prepared for future relationships/women. I had so many things to learn, I don't think it could have been any other way.

Just remember, love/women usually just do not fall onto your lap (that part comes after you've found them~). Take action. If you're not content/confident with yourself, try to introduce change in your life. Move somewhere else, try a new job, do something drastic. Change is good, it helps us grow, challenges us, and makes us discover who we really are.

I totally went off topic but having been in similar shoes I thought I would give some more general advice. Good luck.

12-20-2008, 10:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
The Magic Crazy Location: Reality	Don't go to the club. Not because of the girl. But because you will probably regret it later. Your self-image is pretty fragile at this point. You're living out this "24-year-old-who-has-never-had-a-girlfriend" persona; going to a strip club to have your first contact with women will only further instill in yourself that you don't have a chance with women (but you do!) If you like this girl, you should try to meet her. Surprise her and go meet her. Don't take chances on waiting around. If it turns out not to be what it seems, then you'll know sooner rather than later. It's not a waste of money. If you don't have the money/resources, try saving as much as you can. Find the cheapest/most possible route you could take. Also try to take more pride in yourself. In your post you tend to talk about yourself in a negative fashion and also comment that people see these same flaws in you. In attracting people/dating, other people usually see flaws because that same person believes those things are flaws. Put a positive spin on the things you don't like about yourself and think about yourself more confidently. Women will begin to notice it. How you think about yourself tends to infect other people; create a persona for yourself that you are comfortable with but shows confidence and you will be able to communicate those values to other people. I didn't have my first girlfriend until after I was 20 (I am 22 now), so I understand a little where you are coming from. Also, I would be careful of casting a lot of hope into your first relationship. Mine is ending soon, and when I reflect back now I really think it would've been impossible to keep going no matter who I was with. It's forced me to change quite a bit. It's been a learning experience, kind of like a stepping stone so that I am now prepared for future relationships/women. I had so many things to learn, I don't think it could have been any other way. Just remember, love/women usually just do not fall onto your lap (that part comes after you've found them~). Take action. If you're not content/confident with yourself, try to introduce change in your life. Move somewhere else, try a new job, do something drastic. Change is good, it helps us grow, challenges us, and makes us discover who we really are. I totally went off topic but having been in similar shoes I thought I would give some more general advice. Good luck. Last edited by The Magic; 12-20-2008 at 10:53 AM..