Quote:
Originally Posted by anti fishstick
i am curious, to cross-over and others who still have or would like to still have contact, what is the appeal? what do you get out of hanging out with them again and not keeping the past the past?
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Good question. It is not a strong desire, and just something I have thought about in passing. As I mentioned before, she is a lot of fun. To expand on that statement, we both share common interests such as sports and the occasional binge at a speakeasy. Obviously the latter could be potentially dangerous, so thats why I mentioned hanging out in group settings. With alcohol involved, I would want to make sure we established boundaries related to it strictly being a friendship.
It is something I would talk about with my current girlfriend before hand, and I am pretty sure she wouldn't mind because she still has a platonic relationship with her first.
My first and I were never in a serious relationship and there are not any real scars remaining. On the other hand, there is a past relationship of mine that was serious and ended poorly. Though her and I still talk over the phone (long distance) and have met for dinner once, the occasional and unfortunate rehashing of those scars has made us both think about cutting off communication and not being part of each other's lives.
For me, it appears to be dependent on the degree of emotional involvement and the way the relationship ended that determines the desire to form a platonic relationship with an ex or first. In addition, the amount of work required and whether it is even possible to heal old wounds affects my motivation and desire to transition into a friendship.