Thread: The big step
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Old 11-30-2008, 12:26 PM   #10 (permalink)
Ayashe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Studentech View Post
Thanks for the reply's guys, honestly i had a feeling something along the lines of "if she hasn't put out by then, pack your shit up and move on" would appear. But I can't see myself ending a relationship that I'm otherwise very happy with just because she won't put out. There's also a few other things that i forgot to mention which probably factor into this greatly
First, she's only 16.
Second, I'm the first boyfriend that she's done anything more then kiss with, so bad experiences is out of play.
I'd also really like to rule out the possibility of sexual abuse, although it's supposedly possible.
She's also not into religion.
I think that the way I came across about our discussions is a bit off, we do talk but talking about sex makes her feel... exposed i think, it makes her uncomfortable.
What I'll do sooner rather than later is sit her down and talk about instead of having sex, if at least I can have a slice of the action. That way if she wants to wait with sex if she wants to, and I'll stop feeling rejected. However, I'm also suspicious whether or not she has a general fear of a penises. probably stemming from sex ed...
Anyway, I'll keep some of these things in mind, but any more input would also be appreciated.
Knowing her current age certainly changes things considerably. She is still fairly young, and probably doesn't feel like she is quite ready for that. She is sixteen, not really knowing how to discuss these things yet. At her age, people are rather quick to point a finger and call you a whore if you have sex, so needless to say talking about it may feel rather taboo.

In any case, your suggest at working this out is only going to add to the pressure. If sex is this important you are ready to step outside of the relationship to get your own action I imagine this will either A) push her into sex when she isn't ready B)push her away completely C) you will just hang where you can get your business done and forget about her. Mind you, perhaps I am not understanding you correctly in what you are trying to explain... Chances are though, that if she isn't ready to give you that certain something special she isn't going to be to pleased about you giving it to everyone else.
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