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Seriously a discussion is in order. Let her know that you need to understand. Stare At The Sun came up with some very valid questions to think about. Another thought may be that even if she is not a strongly religious person perhaps she does feel that this is something to be saved for marriage. Though that sort seems to be few and far between these days there are people who follow that thought. Regardless, it has come to a point where I am gathering that you are beginning to feel somewhat rejected so it calls for a deep discussion.
I would refrain from just asking if she wants to have sex and instead try to understand why she doesn't want to. It is up to the two of you to decide if you feel as though you can wait from that point on. If she has had a bad experience in some way, or has some irrational fears, counseling would be in order. After a year and a half I would think that you should have some understanding on this, I would insist on it if I were in your shoes. This is not to say that I am suggesting you drop the girl flat out, your post shows that you genuinely care for her and desire to work this out. Just tell her you need to understand because you are beginning to feel rejected and see how the conversation develops from there. If she truly cannot discuss it, perhaps it is time to consider moving on. Don't force the sex but the discussion on the other hands, it really needs to occur.
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