Out of line from 2 angles
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22 Nov 2008
by G.A. Wilder
Even though I've not yet read this book, from looking at the preview I can say that I already feel a bit offended.
To treat semen like it's some kind of topping, condiment or simply a flavor enhancer does a disservice to what semen has to offer. It’s sort of analogous to sprinkling a tablespoon of filet mignon shavings on your potatoes and then singing the praises of that meat. To relegate semen to the role of “supporting actor” is like asking Tobey Macguire to play an extra in a film for 3 to 15 seconds. Semen is more than a little residue on my napkin after whipping my chin Photenhauer! - semen should fill! Quantity (great quantity) of semen is paramount on any plate it has a role in! It is the star!
Furthermore, because of that, because of what it has to offer and because of the manpower exhausted in its extraction and processing, semen is hard to afford and should be! Which leads to Photenhauer’s second unseemly literary crime – exploitation of the poor. Not only does this book sadly sell semen short, but it sells semen on the backs of the poor by suggesting that those with low incomes can enjoy semen too. Photenhauer not only brings semen down by suggesting to those not yet acquainted with semen’s goodness that semen can be enjoyed in such scant proportions but justifies this denigration of semen (and thereby his book) by practically suggesting that every tongue, rich and poor, can be laden with semen should the craving for a snack arise at 1 in the morning. Tragic and mean. Why not just give a poor child a thimble-sized ice-cream cone with Hagen-Daaz and pat yourself on the back Photenhauer! See what I mean? You seem mean.
Make your own choice though.
[ 2 responses ]
Re: Out of line from 2 angles
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22 Nov 2008
by Fotie Photenhauer
Dear Mr. Wilder,
Thank you for your comments. I am sorry if you feel offended, but let me remind you that you have yet to read the book. It was difficult to find the balance between on the one hand making the book appealing to a larger audience and on the other hand catering to the true semen enthusiast. As a person who sees semen as the star of any dish, I am sure you would appreciate some of the book's recipes that utilize semen as the main ingredient. Examples of such recipes are: 'man made oyster', 'one less egg crepes' and the two recipes for warm sauces.
- Photenhauer
Re: Re: Out of line from 2 angles
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22 Nov 2008 (updated 22 Nov 2008)
by G.A. Wilder
Conceded! I haven’t read the book! Now, glancing backward at your offering and the outburst it drew from me almost makes me giggle!. Wow, I really blew a head gasket!
I guess I inserted a few things there that I’m ready to withdraw, such as my assertion of your contempt for the poor. I guess I should have appreciated your willingness to see that semen finds wider distribution and your willingness to make your tastes more palatable to people of all positions in life, hence my refraction of what I so spontaneously and passionately emitted a mere hour or two ago. I guess the world might be a better place if we were to see men and women of all levels, top or bottom, being able to enjoy semen in any quantity, massive or meager.
Maybe you could release an additional volume or two of your book though and release it in a more upscale arena that caters to those of greater financial means. Of the few that are able to afford the quantities of semen that those in my circle and circles like it are culturally accustomed to consuming, many need a pointer or two on refining their approach and imbuing more of a sense of elegance when it comes to their indulgence of their voracious appetite for semen. After all, a weekend, for rich or poor, should be more than gobbling down a plate full of BBQ’d semenloaf and onion rings on our Texas ranch! Maybe you can fill the gap that’s missing amongst those of us whose accumulated experiences have acculturated a healthy but unrefined approach to semen cuisine! Sorry for my abrupt, forceful and in-your-face approach of 2 hours ago!
