Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Withholding sex from your partner (looking for perspectives)

Hyacinthe · 11-21-2008, 01:47 AM

I've never with held sex as a form of coercion that I can think of.

I have had it done to me though. It seems to me that all that does is cause more resentment and tension in the relationship then was already present due to the original issue over which the with holding was a consequence of.

My response was nothing too drastic - I didn't comment on it after I was told that it was an intentional withdrawal and established it was over something neither of us was willing to compromise on (he wanted me to drop out of uni and move to the other side of the country with him because he had a long term contract over there ) I just ignored it - found it's extremely hard for your partner to ignore you lying next to them in bed and taking the matter into your own hands.

I really can't think of anything I would do as a reprisal - I'm not in my day life a very confrontational person luckily I can't imagine my SO doing anything like withholding sex from me.

My night-life persona however would probably be much more aggressive about it - start exploiting the erotic weaknesses of the person I was with - trying to tick as many of their little turn on boxes as I can. Turn my partner on as much as possible then if / when they make a move just point out the fact that they're meant to be withholding sex from me.

Very petty though.

11-21-2008, 01:47 AM	#19 (permalink)
Hyacinthe Psycho Location: Australia	I've never with held sex as a form of coercion that I can think of. I have had it done to me though. It seems to me that all that does is cause more resentment and tension in the relationship then was already present due to the original issue over which the with holding was a consequence of. My response was nothing too drastic - I didn't comment on it after I was told that it was an intentional withdrawal and established it was over something neither of us was willing to compromise on (he wanted me to drop out of uni and move to the other side of the country with him because he had a long term contract over there ) I just ignored it - found it's extremely hard for your partner to ignore you lying next to them in bed and taking the matter into your own hands. I really can't think of anything I would do as a reprisal - I'm not in my day life a very confrontational person luckily I can't imagine my SO doing anything like withholding sex from me. My night-life persona however would probably be much more aggressive about it - start exploiting the erotic weaknesses of the person I was with - trying to tick as many of their little turn on boxes as I can. Turn my partner on as much as possible then if / when they make a move just point out the fact that they're meant to be withholding sex from me. Very petty though. __________________ "I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own" "Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."