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Like most socially conditioned notions, the idea of exclusivity is something I've spent a lot of time questioning (its my nature to challenge things). And honestly, I've never really come up with an answer that suits me. It doesn't help that I've never met anyone with I'd like to make a life commitment, so the idea of exclusive marriage is something that's hard to wrap my head around. Of course, it's also hard to completely throw away my conditioned response that monogamy = good. So, in answer to your question, I'm not sure.
A friend of mine (also a former lover) a notorious cheater, always justified his infidelity as just two people enjoying the same activity. He had completely emotionless view of sex. He only feels guilty for "emotional infidelity." Now, I don't agree with this guy's take on things, but it raises some interesting questions. Which is worse, emotional infidelity, or physical infidelity? Moreover, in the absence of sexual exclusivity (AKA an open relationship), is there some sort of code about emotional exclusivity? I'm afraid I don't know any polyamorists, so I wait with bated breath for ratbastid to weigh in on this thread.
In the end, I can't come up with any better answer than, "Live and let live." I don't judge other people's decisions when it comes to their relationship, so long as they're both happy (and in the know). I still haven't quite figure out my own reaction.
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"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata
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