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Old 11-09-2008, 06:15 AM   #1 (permalink)
Amaras
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Location: At my daughter's beck and call.
A discussion about discussions

Due to popular acclaim () I am trying to open a thread about HOW we go
about discussing differing ideas.

Synopsis of the genesis of this thread:

On the Politics/2008 Election Coverage area of the board debate can often get VERY
heated. Diametrically opposed folks go at it hammer and tong, each accusing the other of not getting their facts straight, ignoring the obvious, hypocrisy, and so on.
Personally, I love the heat of battle. Since I'm too old to bash heads on the football field, I suppose (at least some of) my aggression is channeled thus.
Abaya, our lovely Mod (from the land of the ice and snow with the midnight sun where the hot springs flow, copyright Led Zepplin) started a thread titled "TFP women don't like politics?" in the Ladies Lounge.

Up to that point, I had been elbow deep in outrage over what I perceived to be ignorance and prejudicial thought in the debate I was in.

Then I read her thread. And as I read the reactions to Abaya's plea to understand why the ladies were not participating in political debates, I felt kind of like a brutish, bullying sort of guy. Like I had a club and was gnawing on red meat (mmm, bacon).

It dawned on me, as I read, that I wasn't in a debate, more of a sniping exercise.
I wasn't really open to others ideas, I was trying merely to shoot them down, convert them, or somehow WIN. This type of mentality caused many of the respondents in the LL thread to decide it wasn't worth their while.

Read it here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/ladies-...-politics.html Men, remember, read don't post.

To me, any discourse that effectively (not intentionally) precludes a large portion of brainpower from participating is saddening. Worse than saddening, one shoots oneself in the foot when one does NOT keep the door open to different perspectives. It means you can't learn anything new. It means only having your own, narrow perspective reinforced. It means possibly never learning about the joys of chocolate pudding.

So, I put this to whomsoever wishes to respond:
-Are there noticeable differences in how the majority of men and women communicate contentious ideas (like politics, sex, and religion?
-Do you ever find yourself getting so caught up in what you have to say that you forget to listen (I know I do)?
-Is it more important to prove you are right, or to try see the other side?
-Can our positions' evolution be improved through opposing points of view?
-Do you think your positions CAN evolve, or do you not WANT them to?

Or anything else having to do with rubbing up against those who disagree with you...

Feel free to take this wherever you wish, but I personally would prefer to avoid descending into a "technically, debating occurs in such and such a format..." sort of thing.
Then again, this will go wherever it goes.
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The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
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