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Look, when it comes to physical intimacy, everybody want something different. Literally, no two women I've EVER been with have liked to be touched exactly the same way. For that matter, every woman I've ever been with has felt different to me. Stella and lurkette are built different, feel different, and want different things. lurkette is physically much more sensitive than StelllaLuna, and StellaLuna is what we call more "responsive". If I touched lurkette the way Stella wants to be touched, I'd be pulling her down off the ceiling. If I touched Stella the way lurkette wants to be touched, she'd be like, "when are you going to start doing something?".
What it is to begin a physical relationship with someone is to start from scratch regarding your presuppositions about "what works", set down all your "tricks" that did the job with earlier lovers, and learn THAT PERSON from the ground up.
I think the red flag here, the REAL dealbreaker, would be if a new partner didn't treat it like this. If they have a "way they kiss" that's set in stone, and they're not awake enough to adapt and learn, THAT'S the problem, and the way they kiss is just a symptom.
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