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Since you have no problems using your hands with a condom, probably you aren't using one that is too tight and cutting off circulation. Or maybe it is too tight, but you can still feel with your hands. I don't have a penis, but I am going to guess that being inside a woman provides less physical pressure than hands do.
See if you do okay with her using her hands, with and without a condom. If you have the same reaction with her hands as you do inside her, maybe it's nerves? Trust issues?
If you don't have any problems with her using her hands ... maybe concerns of pregnancy are putting a stop on things? Are you afraid of the dark? (don't laugh, I'm serious ... I knew someone whose SO had this fear of sending his privates into a place he couldn't see, but using hands worked.)
BTW if you worry alot about losing it, you can worry yourself into losing it.
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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez
I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe
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