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I'm not sure this will help, but there are some basic health questions to get out of the way. It is a pretty simple biological hydraulic system.
1. Do you exercise? Start doing more aerobic, long duration stuff.
2. Do some kegal exercises two or three times a day. Maybe when ever you get in your car.
3. Anti-depressants? SSRIs can make it tough to orgasm or stay hard, but it usually goes soft after 3-5 minutes.
4. Have you checked your blood pressure? It's more difficult for me to stay hard when my blood pressure goes up above 140/90.
5. What are you thinking about during sex? ("Don't go soft, don't go soft, don't go soft"???) Are you worried that it will happen the next time? Focus on how good it feels.
6. Are you circumcised? Use medical tape to cover the glans during the day and nights you aren't with her. It will increase sensitivity.
7. Do you masturbate fast or slow? Is it a similar speed to sex?
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