View Single Post
Old 09-29-2008, 08:55 AM   #14 (permalink)
amalek
Upright
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe View Post
She may have been confused or dissatisfied with your relationship but that shouldn't excuse the fact that she has lied to you, has gone on a date behind your back, ignores you at her convenience and has kissed someone else.

I've been in her shoes before. So unsure of what I wanted, I strung someone along for months as she was absolutely convinced that there was still room to work on "us". Even while I was dating someone else.

I know you don't want to hear it but she's leaving. More than likely, she's already gone.
Yeah, I do think she already left the old relationship. I do think that I can start anew, though, like it should have been the first time through. I want to work on it with her because I think she's worth it.

The "cheating" issue is always overblown by the mainstream type of advice, and besides, I saw it coming. Additionally, the guy leaves today so it was a built-in commitment free fling. I do not hold it against her, considering the circumstances. Maybe she could've broke it to be me in a better way, but that's all that I'm upset about.

She isn't unsure of what she wants. She's the only who always brought up wanting to do things together after she graduated. She. Always she. She is not a whimsical girl like most of them; if anything, she could do with a bit more of it. She wants more. She told me, "I want more for my time." This is the root of it all, laid bare. I stopped being a boyfriend and became like a brother or some strange thing. She has had trouble with this in her mind for some months now, I believe, and it came to a head last week.

I'm not even sure she's convinced she can work on "us", but I have to at least try. It might be too little, too late, but what else can I do at this point? I have to give it a shot for my own sake.
-----Added 29/9/2008 at 12 : 57 : 07-----
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSD View Post
Break up, spend a while apart (at least 6 months) with no contact and then try to go back to being friends after you've both moved on and met other people. You're not going to salvage this one and she doesn't want to.
me: "Do you think it's too late for you to want to be with me?"

her: "I don't not want to"

that's her way (since you don't know her you wouldn't know this) of saying, no, absolutely not.
-----Added 29/9/2008 at 01 : 00 : 05-----
Quote:
Originally Posted by onesnowyowl View Post
Yep.

You both are young. She wants to go out and explore life--that's why she did this thing with the German guy. It has NOTHING to do with the fact that he's German, and everything to do with the fact that the opportunity presented itself for her to try something new and exciting.

Call it quits and move on. There's nothing to work on here. If she really cared about you, and was really willing to work things out, she wouldn't have kissed that guy in the first place.
I believe that I have to try. I do not believe that she has given up completely.

While I agree that it had a lot to do with the fact that she didn't want to regret not doing it, it also is because she has a strange crush on German people. He's not even that great, according to her, she's just confused. It's pretty obvious why.

She convinced herself that I was no longer on board with her as a boyfriend, but rather, I was just using her. Fair assessment, and a harsh truth to have to come to on one's own.

I want to prove to her that I can still be "that guy", the guy that she planned on doing things with after graduating

Even if it ends up being just pissing in the wind, I will at least be able to say that I tried. I would regret it forever if I just gave up here.

Last edited by amalek; 09-29-2008 at 09:00 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
amalek is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360