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I find all this confusing. You're very self-deprecating which is not a good thing for you or anyone you're with. But then you also say you're very selfish, that you can see that in yourself.
You call yourself boring and a bad lover, and selfish to top that off. I'm not sure how you've come to those conclusions. But if this is how you feel about yourself, how can any longterm relationship survive this way? You say you want to go back to what you had. What did you have, something comfortable to keep you occupied a part of the time? I find it very strange that when she kissed some other guy, you were seemingly okay and said to yourself "as long as it's not emotional". I mean, what?!
I think you're being way too much of a doormat. Girls don't like that. There has to be a balance. What makes you think you are boring, or not good sexually? You need to look at yourself and improve your life! If you think these things, it means you're unhappy with them. Change them! Start small and work up to being happy with where you are. Know what you want, or at the very least, what you don't want. It's not about fixing aything, it's about being comfortable with who and where you are.
You are so young...it makes me mad to see someone act so bored and unexcited about living life!
About your relationship...I'd say you're at breaking point. 2 years is a usual crisis moment. I'd say there is so much complication there, and that you really need to look at your life and do what is necessary to stop being so...jaded about everything...I'd say time off would do you both good.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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