Quote:
Originally Posted by jewels
I don't think you'll know where to go until you sit and have a frank discussion, as the friends you profess to be.
If sex between the two of you hasn't been all that, she may be confused. This is wherein, I think, the discussion lies. Maybe you both lack the experience and she's wondering if she can't experience more. This happens to a lot of us at that age.
If she's open to it, it may be a good opportunity to work on this together. If you can really communicate, you can teach one another what you need to truly satisfy one another.
Or maybe it should have stayed at the friendship level and would best be served by returning to that level? This is why you need to talk.
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see, this is the kind of non-overly dramatic response I was looking for. You read the facts and posted accordingly. thank you.
I agree here. She is extremely confused. She says I am her "best male friend" but that the "boyfriend" part seems to be missing. I agree 100% that this is where the discussion lies. She says she wants to see what the difference is between the two - I explained to her that it's nothing, really, only that sometimes they can overlap. I figure the best friend part is much, much harder to find (especially for people like us), so we shouldn't throw the baby out the bathwater so quickly. She had a knee-jerk reaction to some complicated emotions she was having, she was crying on Thursday and Friday (she never cries unless she's very confused or frustrated, which is rare, to say the least).
We were both inexperienced when we started, and that didn't help. We are both attracted to each other, and we had planned to move in, travel abroad, save up for a vacation together. This was at late as Wednesday night, mind you.
Her initial claim was that she wants to "experience more" before settling on someone, but I think she's just wanting some affection and romance. Why else would she want to date random people? She hates people. There's no reason that she's upset about spending "forever" with me, either, since that too will likely happen eventually with someone.
This is not all my fault, as she is very poor at expressing emotion and is compulsive with it, but I feel like I can do better. I want to use this as an opportunity to build on what we have - we can't go back to what it was, but I am confident that when we get to the other side of the tunnel, it will be much, much better, and more mature, than it was before. Where the fault lies is of no consequence once the problems have been identified.
Also, conversation note from MSN:
(after making the date for Sunday)
me: so, is it too late for you to want to be with me?
her: I don't not want to.