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I think, Joz, the thing people aren't getting here (which I didn't get until your response to abaya) is the seriousness of the moral offense that abortion is to you. It's really at the same level as murder for you. It really would be like being backed into a corner and having to shoot someone--and not even for self-defense, but for the preservation of your lifestyle. So any risk at all that you'd be forced into committing that act is a very very serious risk.
I think our not getting that is what makes the russian roulette analogy seem so bizarre. But it's really like that for you, isn't it? I think that's the main difference between your position/belief and most of the rest of us who have commented.
In my belief system, I think it's morally ugly, but not anywhere near the level of murdering a fully formed air-breathing human. Is it a small human in there? Well, technically, sure, but I guess until I hear it cry, it's somehow not quite real as that for me yet. So I can sort of wash my hands of the moral stain that abortion would be. Not entirely--it wouldn't be an easy thing for me at all--but I could bring myself to do it. Perhaps my head is somewhat in the sand about it, but there it is.
So, given you're working with your belief system, you've really got to choose whether a slim chance of being forced to murder your child is worth your sexual self-expression. And I don't really think any of us can make that choice for you. I applaud the seriousness with which you're examining it, though.
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