uncle phil

When the ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. 'Listen up!' Noah said with a demanding voice. 'There will be NO sex on this trip. All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, turn in your receipt and I will give you back your penis.'

After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. 'Quick!' he said, 'Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!'

Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, 'Sorry, no land yet.'

'Damn!', exclaimed Mr. Rabbit. This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him.

Mrs. Rabbit asked, 'What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. Why are you acting so excited every day?'

'Look!' said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper, 'I GOT THE HORSE'S RECEIPT!!'

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.