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Well, it certainly sounds like you are the more mature one, even if you are younger in years. To clarify, when she says the hurtful thing, do you immediately call her on it, or stew on it for half an hour until she apologizes? Perhaps by being honest with her about masterbation among other things you are helping her to grow as a person (she does apologize...).
I'd be careful about how long you go without talking to her though, what sustains the LDR (as I call them) is communication.
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"In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."
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