Renny

I have been in a long distance relationship for over 6 months. Yes, things are hard, but we plan on being near each other this fall. Mostly everything is fine except for this one problem: my girlfriend says hurtful things to me on the phone occasionally.

Let me elaborate. First off, I talk to her on the phone every night, we know each other very well, and really dont have any secrets as we are very open with each other and tell each other everything. The problem is that every now and then she has says some very mean and messed up stuff to me. As an example, she told me one night how I'm holding her back because she's 3 years ahead of me in college and how she is not going to want to be graduated with a job and have a boyfriend who's still in school. Then a half hour later after I've told her how that hurts me, she apologizes and says she's sorry and that she really doesnt mean it and loves me. I ask her if she's breaking up with me, and then she takes on a shocked attitude and says of coure not, and why would I think that.

Like I said, we are very open and one day she asked me if I ever masterbate, and I said yes occasionally. Everything in me told me not to answer the question, and I did not want to, but like I said we are very open and I dont hold anything back nor lie to her so I answered the question. Well she was very pissed and upset at me and told me how she doesnt want to associate with people who do that, and that it's sad I do that, and disgusting, and she expects that from people in junior high, not people my age. (I'm 23, she's 20.) I explained to her that it is normal for guys to do this, especially if they are not having sex. (Remember we live far away and I dont see her often.) But then again, a half hour later or so she apologizes and tells me how much she loves me and that she's "just telling me how she feels."

So basically, I have someone who I love that I feel I am being driven away from because of the hurtful things she says to me. Everything else is fine in our relationship except for this. I've told her that she needs to stop saying stuff like this, because I cant deal with it and it hurts me, and she says she wont do it again, but always does. My guess is we've had maybe 5-8 of these instances where she says stuff like this to me. Any advice on what's going on here and what I should do? I'm at the point right now where I'm avoiding talking to her and instead doing stuff with friends, because I am still hurt and pissed off after the last of these conversations 2 days ago. Thanks for any help.