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There's some southern colloquialisms that are sure to raise an eyebrow up north -- like when someone asks how hot is it on Texas, you can replay "Hotter'n two rats fucking in a wool sock!"
That one always sets 'em back on their heels.
That & when you see a really attractive woman, declare "I'd walk a mile to stand in her shit!" (another party favorite.)
Personally, I'm prone to "Jesus Herbert Walker Christ!," though I also like Woody Harrelson's "Jesus fucking Christ on a flaming pogo stick!" (from Natural Born Killers, I think) People know you're serious about surprise when you use that one.
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When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift.
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