Merleniau, I also applaud your posts here, and I will most certainly not call you names. It is a very clear opinion, and I think it is great that you and Cromp agree to those standards mutually. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I think it speaks to the quality of your relationship that you both agree on this issue. I think it's actually quite necessary for all parties to agree on what will be their boundaries, including whether or not porn is allowed.
However, I will say that I also agree with ratbastid here:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
Fantasizing about people other than your partner is GOING to happen, especially (but not exclusively) for men.
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I used to be mentally monogamous... that is, blocking my brain from thinking about other men, because at some level I did believe that it was wrong (I attribute this, personally, to my long years as a religious person who pretty much succeeded in stomping out all kinds of sexual urges in myself). But partly through being on TFP, and partly just through my own self-exploration... and most definitely because my husband is not the jealous or insecure type AT ALL (he encourages me to explore my own mental sexuality, and totally accepts that I think about other men while fantasizing)... I have really come to appreciate porn and especially my own fantasies, and I use them often and without reserve. And I really, truly do not think that it takes away from the quality of our relationship, in any form.
As GG said, of course I do think that porn can be destructive, just as many other things can be when they are taken to an extreme or unhealthy level. But within the right context, and with all parties agreeing to the same standards, I think that it can be really just another "toy" to have in the relationship... another form of exploration, that helps enhance the connection between people, rather than taking away from it. It all depends on the people involved.