Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Ayashe · 09-16-2008, 12:46 PM

I have also had this discussion many times. In my opinion thin people, not necessarily even seriously underweight but those with a normal size etc are chastised over their weight nearly as much as those who are obese. You don't see this side of the coin unless you are holding it in your hand. I recall being the one chosen to wear certain outfits for the teenager fashion shows, I recall in nursing school being chosen as the model to demonstrate proper patient positioning(because I wouldn't be insecure about the size of my butt. (Now doesn't that make you insecure for your size to be discussed in front of a classroom?) I recall discussions aimed at me about "fattening me up" I recall discussions made to me in front of my obese cousin about the importance of diet etc. There are times that I have been "caught" eating healthy foods and have been put in a position to justify that. "Why are you eating that, you are so thin?" Imagine that? It is bizarre to me.

I was one of those kids who could put away what I wanted and not worry about weight gain. I ate what I wanted to eat and the rest of the time I was too busy with friends or school activities to be eating. I wasn't dieting, I wasn't consciously under eating in order to control my weight.. thin, it just happened. When food was offered to me I felt compelled to accept it whether full or not, as questions would inevitably creep in about concerns of my health and I found it terribly annoying. The inevitable, "It isn't like you have to worry about your weight."

I see the same in my daughter, always on the thin side, was I concerned? No, what reason would I have to be concerned, she was following her own growth. To look at a growth scale, the standard used in medicine to follow average weight/height for children she always followed 25%. Did 25% make her less of a person? No. I will admit that some (many) parents found these growths as some sort of mark of success. I, with the skinny child would be constantly asked where she lay on the scale. After getting fed up with the, "Well my Tommy is a good eater and is at 95%" comments I would refuse to answer with anything other than, "she is just right."

In my community there are many restaurants but not very many all-you-can-eat buffets. One thing that I have noticed disappear over the years that has been a disappointment to myself is the "salad bar." I always loved a good salad bar. There are many gyms here, they are quite popular, particularly those that are designed as female-only health clubs. The names of those escape me, but the kindness of those clubs is that most of the customers are not those you would think of as gym participants. They are the mildly heavy, the older females, the married, those who feel more comfortable with the privilege of sweating in front of a group of fellow females. We have other health clubs too of course, the YMCA's, Bally's fitness, the big clubs and the tiny ones you will find in your neighborhood strip mall. I would wager that the popularity of the health clubs has much to do with the climate here. Unless you snowshoe, skate or ski, the winter is not a friendly time for outdoor exercise.

In regards to the weight of others affecting me and how I choose to exercise, it has no affect. That is their lifestyle, their choice. I will not invade anyone's life and chastise them for how they live it, if they ask for advice, that is another story. The how's and Why's of someone else's weight is something you would probably never fully graps on unless you lived under their roof, watched them through their struggles and how they managed it. Mental health, yes I do believe that is a part of it whether too thin or too fat. Though I would not place the blame on mental health without the full picture. I don't know that I would want to open the doors to a health club if I was morbidly obese, I would feel like it was too late, I would worry about being mistreated. Has the eating habits of another repulsed me when I was out to eat at a restaurant? No, I am sorry but I keep my nose to myself and the company that I am with. Paying far too much attention to others nearby is just asking for trouble. I do not place myself in a position to change others, a meal is not going to make a vast difference in the life of one. I would never push anyone to overeat, I know what that feels like.

I have known people on both sides of this, the thin and the heavy. I have known heavy people who have become heavy over physical injuries. I have known heavy people who gained weight because of untreated medical conditions. I have also known heavy people who were just following the lifestyle they were born into. Conversely, as far as thin go. People have their reasons, I have only met one that fell into anorexia because of a vanity afflicted lifestyle, the reasons are generally far beneath the surface.

09-16-2008, 12:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
Ayashe Psycho	I have also had this discussion many times. In my opinion thin people, not necessarily even seriously underweight but those with a normal size etc are chastised over their weight nearly as much as those who are obese. You don't see this side of the coin unless you are holding it in your hand. I recall being the one chosen to wear certain outfits for the teenager fashion shows, I recall in nursing school being chosen as the model to demonstrate proper patient positioning(because I wouldn't be insecure about the size of my butt. (Now doesn't that make you insecure for your size to be discussed in front of a classroom?) I recall discussions aimed at me about "fattening me up" I recall discussions made to me in front of my obese cousin about the importance of diet etc. There are times that I have been "caught" eating healthy foods and have been put in a position to justify that. "Why are you eating that, you are so thin?" Imagine that? It is bizarre to me. I was one of those kids who could put away what I wanted and not worry about weight gain. I ate what I wanted to eat and the rest of the time I was too busy with friends or school activities to be eating. I wasn't dieting, I wasn't consciously under eating in order to control my weight.. thin, it just happened. When food was offered to me I felt compelled to accept it whether full or not, as questions would inevitably creep in about concerns of my health and I found it terribly annoying. The inevitable, "It isn't like you have to worry about your weight." I see the same in my daughter, always on the thin side, was I concerned? No, what reason would I have to be concerned, she was following her own growth. To look at a growth scale, the standard used in medicine to follow average weight/height for children she always followed 25%. Did 25% make her less of a person? No. I will admit that some (many) parents found these growths as some sort of mark of success. I, with the skinny child would be constantly asked where she lay on the scale. After getting fed up with the, "Well my Tommy is a good eater and is at 95%" comments I would refuse to answer with anything other than, "she is just right." In my community there are many restaurants but not very many all-you-can-eat buffets. One thing that I have noticed disappear over the years that has been a disappointment to myself is the "salad bar." I always loved a good salad bar. There are many gyms here, they are quite popular, particularly those that are designed as female-only health clubs. The names of those escape me, but the kindness of those clubs is that most of the customers are not those you would think of as gym participants. They are the mildly heavy, the older females, the married, those who feel more comfortable with the privilege of sweating in front of a group of fellow females. We have other health clubs too of course, the YMCA's, Bally's fitness, the big clubs and the tiny ones you will find in your neighborhood strip mall. I would wager that the popularity of the health clubs has much to do with the climate here. Unless you snowshoe, skate or ski, the winter is not a friendly time for outdoor exercise. In regards to the weight of others affecting me and how I choose to exercise, it has no affect. That is their lifestyle, their choice. I will not invade anyone's life and chastise them for how they live it, if they ask for advice, that is another story. The how's and Why's of someone else's weight is something you would probably never fully graps on unless you lived under their roof, watched them through their struggles and how they managed it. Mental health, yes I do believe that is a part of it whether too thin or too fat. Though I would not place the blame on mental health without the full picture. I don't know that I would want to open the doors to a health club if I was morbidly obese, I would feel like it was too late, I would worry about being mistreated. Has the eating habits of another repulsed me when I was out to eat at a restaurant? No, I am sorry but I keep my nose to myself and the company that I am with. Paying far too much attention to others nearby is just asking for trouble. I do not place myself in a position to change others, a meal is not going to make a vast difference in the life of one. I would never push anyone to overeat, I know what that feels like. I have known people on both sides of this, the thin and the heavy. I have known heavy people who have become heavy over physical injuries. I have known heavy people who gained weight because of untreated medical conditions. I have also known heavy people who were just following the lifestyle they were born into. Conversely, as far as thin go. People have their reasons, I have only met one that fell into anorexia because of a vanity afflicted lifestyle, the reasons are generally far beneath the surface.