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i can relate to this. I always tend to get jealous when my boyfriend wants to spend time doing other things with his friends, playing music, or writing (one of his passions). But, i've come to realize that people NEED their independence as much as they want to be with you. It's all a balancing act. It's healthy to find things you can enjoy on your own and vice versa for him. I think it seems easier for guys to have their own things, and girls always want to focus on the relationship. Try focusing on ways to do things for yourself... If you don't, you may be at risk for losing yourself in the relationship. I have struggled a lot with this... and it hasn't been easy. Good luck.
Also, your insecurity may be due to your lack of independence. All the more reason to work on this! If you don't have personal independence within yourself, you will never feel stability in a relationship. I have had to learn this the hard way... Don't think of it as 2nd fiddle at all. It's not. Don't take it personally. Just be yourself and move on.
Hope this helps...
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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin
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