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anonymous8128 · 09-14-2008, 07:23 PM

Note: I've been a user for a while. I do not want this post associated with my usual forums name

So, about a month ago, I started dating a girl I met on a dating site. We hit it off really well. We saw each other a few times, did some making out and groping, no sex; she said she wanted to wait until we loved each other.

Last week, she was spending the night at my place and as we were getting to bed, she said that we needed to have a talk before things got any more serious, but it could wait till morning. I coaxed her a bit, because I didn't want to be falling asleep making horrible speculations. She told me that when she was a teenager, she had a self-destructive period of drugs and careless sex during which she got infected with herpes. I comforted her, but told her that I'd have to think about whether I could accept the risk.

Apparently, she got it about 7 years ago, and her outbreaks have been only one every 18 to 24 months. She's got no health insurance, so she can't get suppressive drugs, and I know that condoms aren't all that effective against herpes, though the risk is low, especially when it's in remission. According to wikipeda, there's probably less than a 5% chance per year that I'd get it from her, even without condoms or other protection measures. Significantly less if condoms are used, along with a carrageenan based lube.

Edit: Apparently it might be possible to get Valtrex for free depending on income/begging. Prices for it via internet pharmacies are vaguely reasonable though the quality of goods is questionable.

She said her last two boyfriends never showed any symptoms.

I'm 24 though, and the prospect of being in her position, constantly feeling dirty and being rejected for the rest of my life horrifies me. I'd probably be constantly paranoid about getting infected while with her.

On the other hand, I really like her, and she seems like someone who I'd enjoy being with for a very long time.

So, that leaves possibilities.

a) I decide to take the risk for her, and we end up being together for the rest of our lives, and it doesn't matter if I get it from her or not.

b) I decide to take the risk for her, and we break up after a while, and I stay clean.

c) I decide to take the risk for her, and we break up after a while, and I get infected. Queue massive emotional breakdown and lifetime of regret.

d) I dump her, feel like a jerk for a while, but get over it, and find someone else.

09-14-2008, 07:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
anonymous8128 Upright	I like her, but she has herpes :( Note: I've been a user for a while. I do not want this post associated with my usual forums name So, about a month ago, I started dating a girl I met on a dating site. We hit it off really well. We saw each other a few times, did some making out and groping, no sex; she said she wanted to wait until we loved each other. Last week, she was spending the night at my place and as we were getting to bed, she said that we needed to have a talk before things got any more serious, but it could wait till morning. I coaxed her a bit, because I didn't want to be falling asleep making horrible speculations. She told me that when she was a teenager, she had a self-destructive period of drugs and careless sex during which she got infected with herpes. I comforted her, but told her that I'd have to think about whether I could accept the risk. Apparently, she got it about 7 years ago, and her outbreaks have been only one every 18 to 24 months. She's got no health insurance, so she can't get suppressive drugs, and I know that condoms aren't all that effective against herpes, though the risk is low, especially when it's in remission. According to wikipeda, there's probably less than a 5% chance per year that I'd get it from her, even without condoms or other protection measures. Significantly less if condoms are used, along with a carrageenan based lube. Edit: Apparently it might be possible to get Valtrex for free depending on income/begging. Prices for it via internet pharmacies are vaguely reasonable though the quality of goods is questionable. She said her last two boyfriends never showed any symptoms. I'm 24 though, and the prospect of being in her position, constantly feeling dirty and being rejected for the rest of my life horrifies me. I'd probably be constantly paranoid about getting infected while with her. On the other hand, I really like her, and she seems like someone who I'd enjoy being with for a very long time. So, that leaves possibilities. a) I decide to take the risk for her, and we end up being together for the rest of our lives, and it doesn't matter if I get it from her or not. b) I decide to take the risk for her, and we break up after a while, and I stay clean. c) I decide to take the risk for her, and we break up after a while, and I get infected. Queue massive emotional breakdown and lifetime of regret. d) I dump her, feel like a jerk for a while, but get over it, and find someone else. Last edited by anonymous8128; 09-14-2008 at 09:58 PM..