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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, he ate an Indian earlier this week.
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo
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