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Have you considered they are overlooking you because they believe you are prettier than them? I know that sounds idiotic but I have heard it said many times by females. I applaud you in taking pride in your appearance but maybe it is too overwhelming for some.
As far as when you are in a relationship. In my experience usually somewhere down the line(generally after four dates and a lot of phone calls) there is a conversation somewhere along the line of, "Are you seeing anyone else?" "Do you want to see anyone else" "Are we a couple now?" It can be sort of awkward but there is a point after more than a few dates where each needs to understand where the relationship is headed. Is just fun or either of you are wanting more commitment than someone just to hang out with.
As for her, maybe she is more social when out in a group. Some couples I know when they are out in groups are almost never right with each other, others are inseparable. Maybe she isn't a touch-feely person out in public, particularly around her friends.
World's King, I wasn't responding as I had to think on it a while. It is hard to speak on dating when you have been involved in a relationship for a couple of years. I can't speak for everyone else's reasons for not responding.
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