Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Sorry, no names on your kids' jerseys, they might get molested.

MSD · 09-03-2008, 05:32 AM

Carmel Dads Club bans first names on kids' team jerseys | IndyStar.com | The Indianapolis Star

Quote:

CARMEL, Ind. -- Concerned about protecting children from potential sexual predators, the Carmel Dads Club has banned the use of first names and nicknames on the back of team jerseys.

"We did it for safety," said Mike McGinley, president of the organization, which oversees nearly a dozen children's sports and 12,000 young athletes.
A parent's anxiety led to the change.

"She raised the concern about someone coming up to a kid and saying, 'Hi, Mary' or 'Hi, Jimmy,' and that might lead the youngster to believe that they knew them," he said.
The decision, made in mid-August, came too late for fall sports, so teams that have already printed their uniforms for football and soccer are exempt and do not need to order new ones. But the change will go into effect for winter and spring sports.
Roger Levesque, the chairman of the Criminal Justice department at Indiana University, said that, at first blush, the move might appear to be "unwarranted paranoia."

"In some ways it is, and in others it is not," he said. "The vast majority of children are maltreated and harmed by people who already know them. On the other hand, offenders who harm children who are initially strangers to them do rely on establishing contact, and there are few things as effective as knowing someone's first name to get their attention."

McGinley said parents have the option of having a child's surname printed on the jersey, which helps coaches match names and faces. But, he said, anyone who fears a potential lack of privacy has the option of leaving the back of the child's uniform blank.
Previously, Carmel Dads Club athletes and their families could choose any name for the back of uniforms.

McGinley said that, since the new policy was announced, he has fielded some phone calls from parents who are upset about the change.
The safety of Dads Club participants has not historically been an issue, he said, nor does it seem to be an issue elsewhere.

In Fishers, the S.P.O.R.T.S. organization, which oversees 10,000 kids in its youth leagues, has no written policy about uniforms, though many of its parents already avoid printing names on jerseys.

At the Indianapolis Catholic Youth Organization, most jerseys are purchased by parishes and are handed down from year to year without names.
McGinley, who made the recommendation to the Carmel Dads Club board of directors, said he researched the idea with the Carmel Police Department, which advised him that first names and nicknames on jerseys are probably not a good idea.

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, allowing children to wear clothing or carry items in public on which their name is displayed may bring unwelcome attention from people looking for a way to start a conversation.
The agency, founded in 1984, seeks to prevent child abductions and sexual exploitation. Its Web site, National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, is filled with advice and guidelines for parents and the community.

According to the agency, 797,500 children younger than 18 are reported missing each year.

The average victim of an abduction: an 11-year-old girl.
McGinley, a former teacher and coach at Cathedral High School, just completed his first year as president of the Carmel Dads Club. He said the club will monitor the results of the policy change and may revisit the issue.

One of the club's many coaches, Paul McGinnis, said he thinks the move makes sense, with just one hitch.

"It is an unfortunate measure due to the fact that having names on jerseys in youth sports helps the parents get to know -- and cheer for -- the other kids on their child's team, as opposed to yelling, 'Go, number 3,' " he said.

This is fucking ridiculous. My mom tried to explain to me when I was 3 that if I went out in the front yard, something bad could happen. She realized that I hadn't really grasped the idea when we were visiting family friends; I was in the back yard with my friend, and I came running inside bawling and saying that Doug went in the front yard and someone was going to take him away.

When I got older, common sense approaches worked better and I'm no longer paranoid. My mom, however, hounded me about everything school related until I graduated, and now does the same with work. She also didn't want me going to New Haven, CT from 9/11/01 until mid-2004 because she was worried about a terrorist attack. She's not happy about first-person-shooters, but God forbid I play Doom, because that's what caused the Columbine shootings.

Having grown up with a paranoid parent, I can say for certain that this kind of paranoia is harmful to kids. I had a few good friends in high school and a big group of people I hung out with only in school because my mom wouldn't allow me to go to parties with them for fear that all they did was drink and do drugs, and I would be pressured into joining them (a lot of them did, but I was straightedge back then and absolutely wouldn't have joined in.) This left me pretty much entirely socially inept until college (even though I went to a commuter campus because 1: we couldn't afford to send me somewhere, and 2: my mom still tells me that I would have flunked out if she wasn't there to remind me of everything constantly.)

It's one thing to be concerned about children's safety. It's another thing entirely when we let ourselves succumb to a pathological fear that everyone and everything can and will hurt our children. If you forget, the news will always be there to remind you that your attractive, white, upper-middle-class children are prime targets for abduction and that predator lurk around every corner to rape and murder your babies.

In the end, my mom's paranoia was like the boy who cried wolf. I don't do conventional wisdom, I don't worry about my safety beyond what I see as problems, and I'm not particularly afraid of anything. It'll probably catch up to me some day as I'm showering during a thunderstorm (what's going to happen, lightning hits the ground and arcs from one grounded pipe to another through me?) or sticking a fork in a toaster to get my damn English muffin (the plug is polarized and it's not toasting, what's the risk?) I was there when they banned dodgeball, I was there when they banned tag, and I was there when they banned soccer on pavement. When we fell and got hurt, all it took was a friend helping you up and asking if you were OK to get you back in the game; now it's risking a lawsuit to let kids have fun. I'm not a betting man, but I doubt that my high school is still offering archery classes.

Parents, let your kids run free in the neighborhood as long as they look both ways before they cross the street. Buy a rubber playground ball and let them play dodgeball with their friends as long as they don't aim for the face. Give them a Red Ryder BB gun and a pair of safety glasses and tell him it's OK, he won't shoot his eye out as long as he points the end with the hole in it away from himself and everyone else. If he falls off his bike, bandage him up and tell him you know he'll do better next time (and might want to wear jeans that cover his knees) instead of looking for someone to sue. Fight the culture of fear.