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Mellu · 08-31-2008, 07:23 PM

Things I love about straight men:

-Dudes can EAT. I have never met a straight man who can't CHOW DOWN, I love how they can eat with such gusto.
-I love some of the body hair, like the little "ape patches" on their hands or my personal fave, the "treasure trail."
-A proper man is a beast who can work up a good stink - literally - in many ways, and I find it oddly endearing even tho it's gross. P.U., awww!
-Their keen awareness of being the bigger, stronger being. Offering to go investigate noises or reach things up high or lift heavy objects.
-I love a man who will admire and concede to the fact that I can out-belch them.
-When they so enthusiastically and carefully explain sports stuff to me.
-When they make up catchy sports phrases and terms while watching the game (i.e., "aw, shit, shake and bake, baby! Thread the needle!" etc.)
-Their jeans with a wallet imprint on the ass pocket.
-Their general cool, sympathetic but kinda grossed out attitude about our periods.
-I think straight men a better at swearing and cussing than we are.
-How a lot of them are just fine smelling like a pleasant combo of clean laundry, soap, deodorant and a slight bit of sweat, I LOVE that smell.
-When they don't know their own strength, and you're wrestling or having sex and they hurt you even the littlest bit and feel SO bad.

Things I love about GAY MEN:

-They are generally better girlfriends than your girlfriends, in many ways.
-They usually have more and better beauty products than you do.
-They can teach you more about giving BJs than anyone!
-You can generally give your gay BFs more shit about their taste in men, and they have a sense of humor about it, and give you shit right back.
-Being gay is some shit to go through, and thus they understand about going through shit in general and are tough and understanding.
-Most straight women ('fruit flies' like me and not obnoxious bachelorette partiers) are very safe at the gay men's bar and well taken care of.
-They are generally funnier than most people, in my experience, and can make me laugh when no one else can.

08-31-2008, 07:23 PM	#70 (permalink)
Mellu Upright	Things I love about straight men: -Dudes can EAT. I have never met a straight man who can't CHOW DOWN, I love how they can eat with such gusto. -I love some of the body hair, like the little "ape patches" on their hands or my personal fave, the "treasure trail." -A proper man is a beast who can work up a good stink - literally - in many ways, and I find it oddly endearing even tho it's gross. P.U., awww! -Their keen awareness of being the bigger, stronger being. Offering to go investigate noises or reach things up high or lift heavy objects. -I love a man who will admire and concede to the fact that I can out-belch them. -When they so enthusiastically and carefully explain sports stuff to me. -When they make up catchy sports phrases and terms while watching the game (i.e., "aw, shit, shake and bake, baby! Thread the needle!" etc.) -Their jeans with a wallet imprint on the ass pocket. -Their general cool, sympathetic but kinda grossed out attitude about our periods. -I think straight men a better at swearing and cussing than we are. -How a lot of them are just fine smelling like a pleasant combo of clean laundry, soap, deodorant and a slight bit of sweat, I LOVE that smell. -When they don't know their own strength, and you're wrestling or having sex and they hurt you even the littlest bit and feel SO bad. Things I love about GAY MEN: -They are generally better girlfriends than your girlfriends, in many ways. -They usually have more and better beauty products than you do. -They can teach you more about giving BJs than anyone! -You can generally give your gay BFs more shit about their taste in men, and they have a sense of humor about it, and give you shit right back. -Being gay is some shit to go through, and thus they understand about going through shit in general and are tough and understanding. -Most straight women ('fruit flies' like me and not obnoxious bachelorette partiers) are very safe at the gay men's bar and well taken care of. -They are generally funnier than most people, in my experience, and can make me laugh when no one else can.