TheoryWeary

First a logical point, if you settle for the best person you can find, you are getting everything that you can get. In other words, perfection may be unachievable. I'm not terribly thrilled to promote that, but i must admit it nonetheless. I also know that you said it in the idealistic sense that everything you can get is getting the perfect person for you, whether or not he exists.

I do not think anyone can be happy in a relationship for terribly long if they believe they settled. At the same time, i think that notion can be dispelled relatively quickly if the relationship starts going well. The question would be if it creeps back as time passes.

I feel theres a diminishing return of sorts on being overly picky who your significant other is, because even "settling" slightly into a relationship is usually preferable to being alone. Life is short; there must be some balance between holding out for the ultimate best, and enjoying what is available in the meantime. While that is a motivator to start relationships, it also serves to end them.

Perhaps most realistically, what are we defining as "settling"? No one is perfect, we will always be able to find a flaw with pretty much anyone. The key would be if those "flaws" are important. People say "I love him for his weaknesses" etc, and I am skeptical. I want to love someone for their strengths, but nonetheless, they will have weaknesses. Maybe those are endearing in themselves or maybe they are merely inconsequential; either way it would not appear that I settled to be with that person.

You may say "someone who is perfect for me not perfect in general, but i feel my above paragraph still holds equally true. In the strictest sense, that is the very definition of settling, but then it seems unavoidable to all but the hopeless romantic. We can do better?