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Will, I actually like your advice. It makes sense. Abaya and ratbastid are just being too literal with what you've submitted. I considered writing something similar when I first read the OP but never got around to it.
elsesomebody, you seem to be on the right track. I think that at some point you're going to have to come clean with your wife if for no other reason than easing your burden, but I think that you need to get past the other issues you've identified first.
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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