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Glad to be of help. But why are you talking with her online in the first place? Cut that out ASAP... it's gonna be like quitting cigarettes, but you've got to reduce, reduce, reduce the exposure to that trigger. And increase time and quality with your wife--and GET TO COUNSELING. I'm a veteran of individual, group, and couples' counseling. Let me tell you--you are not going to be able to deal with this shit on your own. You need support from your wife and an external, objective party that will hold you accountable to behavior change.
Does your wife know about the addiction to porn? Do you want her help? You've got to approach these issues as a team... that's what marriage is for. It's not for hiding things from each other, even things that might hurt the other person. Ideally, your marriage will be a sanctuary from crap like this, not a place where you have to hide and be deceitful about your behavior and feelings. If you have that as a goal, then you can definitely get to that place. But you have to want it, and you have to have some kind of accountability set up with others.
My two cents. This kind of stuff is no joke, man... your long-term happiness (and that of your wife's) is on the line.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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