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Hadn't he already violated her trust by doing what he was doing? Sounds like he made the advertising on Craig's List and the such pretty obvious. Why would he do such a thing in the first place? Sounds like he already thought the relationship wasn't satisfying. Sure you shouldn't snoop through your loved ones stuff just because you suspect something, but when he put the evidence right under her nose doesn't she deserve to know the truth?
Fact remains sounds like the relationship is over or would need something majorly drastic to fix it. You have both violated each others trust and at this point placing blame is a futile effort on both of your parts. If you want to fix the relationship wasting energy on determining who violated whos trust is not going to get you anywhere.
If the question your trying to ask is do we believe that what he did was cheating? Well then yes, especially if you don't have that kind of open relationship. If at the start of your relationship you had both decided that such activities were permissible that would be a whole 'nother story.
Best of luck in the difficult decisions you will probably soon have to make.
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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey
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