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Old 08-18-2008, 01:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
Vigilante
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Back in the mid 90s we saved a puppy from a litter that was doomed to die of starvation, and named her Feagan. She was the healthiest, which we later learned meant that she was the most aggressive and had the strongest survival skills. She was a bear to train, and I had to train her very intensely because she was willing to bite anyone. If worked, because she later attacked my mom's dog, and mom stuffed her hand in Feagan's mouth, to which Feagan simply let go. I was amazed. We had her for 10 years, and she was the best guard dog we ever had because she adored my wife and protected her from any stray sound or odd visitors. She tolerated me, and I was ok with that, just as long as she knew who was boss

Fast forward to late 2006. My wife's in vet school and really busy, I'm working full time and really busy, and Feagan has to stay in a kennel because she is more than ready to kill and probably eat any of our 4 cats. I come home at lunch at let her out with Rex (both dogs 55lbs) so they can play and goof off. But when she comes back in, she has to go back in the kennel, which she seems happy to do most of the time. December rolled around, and the 10th seemed like any other boring, monotonous day. My wife had to stay at school for the night shift, I was getting home from work, no biggie. I let the dogs out, they ran around, then I let them back in and went to eat and watch some TV. Later on, I let them back out, and then let them back in. This was around 11:00PM. I went back to the study to hit the forums and BS around, and something felt weird. I had the music up and hadn't heard anything, but something felt heavy, strange and unsettled. I walked up front, and saw nothing unusual. Feagan's kennel was covered except for the very front (she preferred that) and there was no noise. I went back and sat down, still uneasy, but able to shake it off. A few minutes later I heard Feagan give out this very unusual howl, like a warning howl, which I had never heard before. The howl started strong and quickly squelched down, and it was at that point I knew something was very wrong. I ran up front and looked in her kennel and she was twisted sideways and dying. I was in shock and trying to rationalize that she was fine and trying to find the vet school number when it hit me that she wasn't going to make it unless I acted faster. I grabbed a towel, dragged her out, wrapped her in it as best I could (limp 55lb chunk of lead that she is, it's more than one might think) and ran out the door with her, got her in my truck, and shot down University Drive at Texas A&M as fast as I dared at 11:15 in the rain. That was about 70-75mph, ignoring lights. By the time I got to the vet school, she was dead. They opened the school for me and tried to save her, but in the end I had to make the call to let her go. That was the hardest choice I had made in my life up to that time. A few minutes later my wife made it to the ER. Even now it is hard to relive.

The doctors got together and determined that she probably died of a tumor on the heart that finally exploded, filling her chest cavity with blood, and basically draining her circulatory system very, very rapidly. In any case, I could have had her at the vet school in 5 seconds and she still wouldn't have made it.

Later on, we went home. We were in bed, obviously very upset and not tired, and then my wife heard a collar jingle like a dog shaking water off. Our other dog was with us in the room, but the collar jingle was up in the living room where Feagan's cage still stood. I heard it the second time and called it, and my wife said she heard it the first time but thought it was her imagination so she didn't say anything. I knew then that something extraordinary was going on. I ran up front and saw nothing, her cage was empty and there was no movement, but the room felt lighter, and I knew we had to have been visited because as I walked around, I discovered her collar in the other bedroom, unmoved since we set it down from the trip home. It was too high for the cats to have bumped it, and like I said it was literally unmoved.

That was the last time we heard her. We saw her in our dreams, in fact we were together with her in our dreams several times. Feagan and I were not that close until she died, but she changed me in ways I could have never imagined.
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