Quote:
Originally Posted by Halifax
Six billion in the world, struggling to survive on dwindling resources, and still people will do anything it takes—spend tens of thousands of dollars, undergo countless procedures, etc.—just to have that all-important child who happens to carry their own DNA. Am I the only one who finds this the tiniest bit self-centered? I'm not saying these parents are malicious in their intent. Just that raising a child should not be the ultimate end and sum total of your existence.
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There is nothing that any human does that is not "the tiniest bit self-centered". Nothing. Do we do altruistic things that makes us feel miserable? No, we do them to make others happy because it makes us happy.
For what it's worth, my kids are NOT their father's DNA as far as we know and he's just fine with that. We wanted a family, we tried and succeeded in having it.
Know why poor people don't adopt? They can't afford it.
If I want to be identified as a parent, who are you to say that can't be the sum total of my existence? (Not that it is, I'm more, but just saying).
I have adopted nephews. They're not "the adopted ones", they're my nephews. Period.
The most judgemental comments here thus far have been from those who have no kids and probably aren't even married or in serious relationships.
I said it before but it bears repeating: I hope no one who thinks we're somehow contributing to the ills of the world and sundry other negative views never has to go through what those of us who endured these failures went through.
I do hope that those who find themselves in the same despair succeed as well as I and others eventually have.
Daniel, I completely understand your pain and I am sorry you have to go through it. Trust me when I say, don't give up. When you want something badly enough, you find a way to get it.