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Some couples feel they could not have the same bond with children that don't carry their DNA. Some mothers feel strongly the need to go through the motions of carrying a child and would feel cheated by having to do it another way. There is nothing wrong with either points of view in my mind, it is what fits you, your beliefs and that of your partner. It is an amazing process to carry a child, it allows us to prepare for parenthood in a real spiritual way. It is not something I can explain, I do not know that there are words to explain this at all to be honest. With adoption, you don't have the same moments of bonding to your growing child, no spouse resting his head on your growing tummy.
I don't believe that adoption is wrong in any way. I also do not believe that it is impossible to not feel love and closeness with a child not born out of your womb. I do believe the two can be vastly different and understand why couples would work to be able to share those experiences of pregnancy and bringing a life into the world together.
There are also concerns people have about how to handle the adoption/birth parent questions in later years. To tell your child, or not. Wondering how the child will react, wondering if he/she will feel a need to find their parent. Wondering if the bond you have built over the years will degrade upon them finding their birth parent. A lot to consider for a couple having difficulty creating their own family. I believe that what is right, is what they felt was the correct choice for them.
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