abaya

What kinds of guilt do you think are necessary for human society? What about for yourself, personally? What is the function of guilt?

Guilt seems to get a bad rap these days. When I've talked about feeling "guilty" for something (usually for something related to family that I think I'm not doing right), I often get the response from my husband and friends, "Don't feel guilty about it. It's not your fault." Which is fine and all--with some things, it's very true. And accepting those things that are not my fault, is something that I am always working on. I can see that this is an unhealthy type of guilt, in my case.

However, when I'm thinking about the big problems of the world, social justice, etc... and feeling bad about those things, that I'm not doing enough to help... I hear the same voices telling me that it's really not my problem. That it's somehow a bad thing to feel responsible for the welfare of others, when I am in a privileged position... that I don't need to feel bad for them, because I haven't done anything actively wrong to hurt people. Which, again, might be true--but it makes less sense to me. This isn't "guilt," to me. It's awareness of social inequities, and being motivated to do something about it. It's empathy for suffering, and that's not something that I want to get rid of, in myself. I see this as a "good" form of guilt, in a way.

But many others would say that even that is a "bad" form of guilt, because no one should be responsible for other people's suffering... that whatever situation those people are in, it's their own fault, or someone else's... that it's a waste of time and energy to be concerned with those people.

I disagree with this, but it got me thinking. What is guilt good for? Do we live in a world where no one wants to really feel guilty anymore, unless it pertains directly to us (and I mean, directly--as in, our family, maybe close friends, that's it) and something that we have personally done? Or is there a purpose for "healthy" guilt?

What kinds of things/actions do you consider it okay to feel "guilty" about?

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran