|
well, it's only a story you'd tell if things worked out, yes?
that's why the Big Edit Function exists...
personally, i would try to separate the two main questions---the master's program and the lovely dutch girl. i would probably think about the first one while organizing a field work expedition concerning the second--as you're doing. seems to me that all options seem equivalent and not-so-great because they're all collapsed into each other at the moment.
i did something similar to what it appears you're contemplating about 10 years ago.
it was an adventure.
i don't know if i would do it again, for all kinds of reasons---one of them being that the fact of the adventure had all kinds of implications for the relationship, one of which was that it made things seem like an adventure for a while. later, it became less an adventure because, in part, i underestimated the extent to which i put myself in an untenable economic situation by blowing up my life as i had it organized in the interest of pursuing a relationship.
it was fun then it wasn't.
there's a book in this somewhere. a tedious book i think.
if you want to leave the master's program, think about it seriously.
would you be thinking about this without the dutch girl?
to what extent is she a pretext?
field work is key--enjoy it after the 20th.
__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear
it make you sick.
-kamau brathwaite
|