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If you're cheating on him, just say you're cheating on him. You'll probably get some emotional heat at this point, but honestly, you deserve it, and it WILL end the relationship. The goal isn't to save his feelings, the goal is to end the relationship. Tell him its over, tell him there is someone else. This will hopefully make him paranoid enough in his next relationship that he can see the warning signs of someone cheating on him before it gets to this point.
Total aside: I think that 'there is someone else' when you are engaged and living with someone may be a case of 'the grass is greener' syndrome. How well do you know this other exciting person, and will you be interested in them once the illicit thrill is gone and you're engaged to them?
Just food for thought.
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