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So let's compare my two major adult relationships in my life, for shits and giggles.
Relationship #1: Together for 8 months. Had sex after 1 month--lost my virginity, in fact. Broke up because he felt it wasn't really going anywhere and didn't want to be permanent, yet proceeded to string me along after that for another 9 months--longer than the relationship itself lasted. Boy, did I learn my lesson big time; the guy was an emotionally manipulative tool.
Relationship #2: Had sex on the 1st real date, moved in together after 2 weeks, and we're celebrating our 3rd anniversary at the end of the month. We're still living together and planning on getting married in a year or two. Woo! Go us!
The only landmark I used from my past relationship in this new one was the day we celebrated our first anniversary and I realized that I'd been dating my current SO longer than my longest relationship had lasted. Everything else was irrelevant, and quite frankly, unpleasant to think about. To me, to use the first relationship to define the progress of the second seems like a form of blatant self-sabotage, especially in the example you gave, Bear Cub. My first relationship really has no bearing on my second, other than that every time I think of my ex I thank my lucky stars for my current guy.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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