Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Benchmarking Relationships

Bear Cub · 08-09-2008, 06:59 AM

For some reason or another, this concept popped into my head this morning. It's not a personal dilemma, it just peaked my curiosity.

Is it a valid notion to compare the timelines of former relationships to new ones, effectively setting checkpoints for certain things to take place?

On one hand, you've got the naysayers who will be adimant that each person and situation is unique, and that you should not hold a comparison between them and your former significant others.

On the other hand, you've got those who may argue that it's perfectly acceptable to do so, as it can keep you from rushing in and making foolish mistakes.

For example, say you had three long term relationships in the past. All three of them starting showing trouble signs after two years, and ended after 2 1/2 years. Suppose now that you've found your "true love", who after 1 1/2 years time you want to marry (throw in whatever time frame you really want here).

Would you think that you should follow your instinct and know that everything will work out for the best? Or is it fair to postpone certain events such as weddings, engagements, living together, etc, based on the fact that all of your prior relationships seemed to follow a set timeline, effectively creating hold points and go-ahead points in your relationship?

08-09-2008, 06:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
Bear Cub The Reverend Side Boob Location: Nofe Curolina	Benchmarking Relationships - Old vs. New? For some reason or another, this concept popped into my head this morning. It's not a personal dilemma, it just peaked my curiosity. Is it a valid notion to compare the timelines of former relationships to new ones, effectively setting checkpoints for certain things to take place? On one hand, you've got the naysayers who will be adimant that each person and situation is unique, and that you should not hold a comparison between them and your former significant others. On the other hand, you've got those who may argue that it's perfectly acceptable to do so, as it can keep you from rushing in and making foolish mistakes. For example, say you had three long term relationships in the past. All three of them starting showing trouble signs after two years, and ended after 2 1/2 years. Suppose now that you've found your "true love", who after 1 1/2 years time you want to marry (throw in whatever time frame you really want here). Would you think that you should follow your instinct and know that everything will work out for the best? Or is it fair to postpone certain events such as weddings, engagements, living together, etc, based on the fact that all of your prior relationships seemed to follow a set timeline, effectively creating hold points and go-ahead points in your relationship? __________________ Living in the United Socialist States of America.