Quote:
Originally Posted by kutulu
I look at this type of thing similar to cops and warrants. Probably cause. It is wrong to spy on someone out of paranoia. However, it an SO is acting shfty it is appropriate to do some snooping. However, you better find something to justify your actions. Prince found a goldmine of information.
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Agreed. Ktspktsp and I have the same "contract," in a way--if there is serious, repetitive, probable cause for snooping--we have given the other person permission to snoop through our personal things/e-mails/chat logs, to find out what is going on. In a marriage, you don't preserve the other person's trust in you by acting in a reproachable manner over a long period of time. If it goes on for long enough, then the other person has every right to snoop and preserve his/her sanity, and perhaps even the marriage itself. I guess it's a good thing that my spouse and I agree on this standard before we ever have to deal with a situation like this, however--if it came up out of the blue, then the situation would be a bit sticker.
Prince, I'm on your side--we're here to support you. Very glad to hear that you are seeking out counseling, and that the wife is willing to go as well. Put the work in, and see where it goes. Let us know what happens.