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I was feeling a bit underserved/underutilized in the physical side of my marriage some months ago. I read Will's thread in the HOF about cycle tracking and developed a tracking spreadsheet. (I'm an Excel pervert - it's a curse, but it makes me money.) I track Sex, Unusual sex (as a subset of sex, to include fellatio, kink, and anal), and her orgasms (separately). After a couple of months, I started letting Mrs. Hat in on the trends that were shaping up. We're averaging about 15 rounds a month now with 15% unusual and 20% her orgasming. We were at 23, 3, and 6 last month, though (shooting for once daily and falling just a little short).
Sometimes having a goal will make it attainable.
Flip side of this is I do not want McDonald's hamburger sex. I want prime rib or filets wrapped in bacon, with the occasional pecan crusted trout to keep things lively. Surprisingly, by making her more aware of it, the sex became much more passionate.
To your situation, masturbating in bed next to him ought to work. Lingerie ought to work. Putting the kids to bed, grabbing him by the dick and saying, "This is the part where I am going upstairs with your dick, are you coming?" has the potential of backfiring, but would surely get my undivided attention. Waking him up with a blowjob and jumping on board once he's up and running might or might not work (depends how he wakes up).
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Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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