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Well, I've been told that my life is like a novel--and I take that as a compliment. I consciously want to live it that way, as far as I am able. I would rather live in regret of what I did, than in regret of what I feared to do. That has been a driving force in my life for some time now. It is something I will carry with me until I die, I think.
I know that I've been very lucky (and simultaneously very unlucky), but I feel that I have taken full advantage of all the luck that has landed in my lap, and ran as fast and hard as I could with it. Occasionally I run out of steam, but it's never for more than a few months... I can't bear to sit around and wait for the next big thing. I have to go out and get it. (That's why sticking with this PhD has been getting more and more difficult--but I'm settling back into it, now.)
I think a lot of all this is because my father died so suddenly, accidentally, when he was just 31 years old--I've always been very conscious of the fact that I (or anyone I love) could die at any minute, and that therefore, I've got to live a life that I can look on with pride and satisfaction--even if I died tomorrow. There are still a few areas where I struggle with this (namely, in settling things with family members--I still hold my tongue too much with them), but for the most part, I live with no regrets. I see too many people holding themselves back, not taking risks, not sucking the marrow out of life--and it bothers me.
So I guess I can see where this Last Lecture guy is coming from--just from the sheer fact of mortality being a central part of my life, before I was even born.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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