Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Is there ever a valid excuse for being a dead beat parent?

kurty[B] · 07-25-2008, 10:43 AM

So, what is the consensus on a dead-beat parent? Is it a parent who doesn't pay their child support obligations? Or a parent who is "not there"? If the father moves to another state, but still makes attempts to visit his child and have his child visit a deadbeat, because he moved away? If the father took a job overseas to be able to afford child support and his present standard of living before he found out he was going to be a father a deadbeat?

What if the primary caretaker says things like "Don't worry about us. Your son's fine" in response to any attempt to maintain communication? In such a case where the primary caretaker makes things as difficult as possible for the distant parent to actually be a parent should the primary caretaker be reprimanded somehow? And if so, how?

This might be making this conversation a bit too personal, but there is a lot of gray area when talking about this. It's all black and white until you're actually in the situation. I agree any person who just bails and doesn't support their children in some way shape or form is the jerk of all jerks, but the primary caretaker isn't always a saint of all saints either.

Colorado has a Child Support Worksheet that you fill in how much you make and how much the other parent makes and it spits out a number. It's definitely geared towards divorce, and a situation where both parents are working, but with a really young child where overnights are not permitted due to the child's age it becomes very lopsided. It's still doable. If the definition of a deadbeat is a parent who doesn't pay child support, than I am in agreeance there is no reason not to, and if you can't pay the full amount there are ways to inform the courts of this and adjust payment (of course it costs some money to file for that, but in the amount you save each month it's worth it). If the definition of a deadbeat is not being there for your child, then the Jazz is absolutely right with his five rules, but I also think there is gray area in there.

07-25-2008, 10:43 AM	#23 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	So, what is the consensus on a dead-beat parent? Is it a parent who doesn't pay their child support obligations? Or a parent who is "not there"? If the father moves to another state, but still makes attempts to visit his child and have his child visit a deadbeat, because he moved away? If the father took a job overseas to be able to afford child support and his present standard of living before he found out he was going to be a father a deadbeat? What if the primary caretaker says things like "Don't worry about us. Your son's fine" in response to any attempt to maintain communication? In such a case where the primary caretaker makes things as difficult as possible for the distant parent to actually be a parent should the primary caretaker be reprimanded somehow? And if so, how? This might be making this conversation a bit too personal, but there is a lot of gray area when talking about this. It's all black and white until you're actually in the situation. I agree any person who just bails and doesn't support their children in some way shape or form is the jerk of all jerks, but the primary caretaker isn't always a saint of all saints either. Colorado has a Child Support Worksheet that you fill in how much you make and how much the other parent makes and it spits out a number. It's definitely geared towards divorce, and a situation where both parents are working, but with a really young child where overnights are not permitted due to the child's age it becomes very lopsided. It's still doable. If the definition of a deadbeat is a parent who doesn't pay child support, than I am in agreeance there is no reason not to, and if you can't pay the full amount there are ways to inform the courts of this and adjust payment (of course it costs some money to file for that, but in the amount you save each month it's worth it). If the definition of a deadbeat is not being there for your child, then the Jazz is absolutely right with his five rules, but I also think there is gray area in there. __________________ In the Absence of Information People Make Things Up.